Clean up when you’re done
“Pasta boils in water, Mom
The pot’s self washing.”
Momaiku is taking a little vacation. She’ll be back next week. 
Did your Dad teach you that?
But he’s even less funny than you are at the moment
I need some new stuff
“It’s finals, and I’m busy
Go write about Dad.”
What do I look like, Google glass?
“How long does this nuke?”
What do the instructions say?
“Can’t you just tell me?”
Even when I’m mad, I’m not that mad
“You can’t fool me, Mom
You still think I hung the moon.”
Yeah. But upside-down.
It’s not wise to rub salt in the wound
“Big Deal. I forgot.
Mother’s Day’s overrated”
So is dinner, dude
I don’t think you’re understanding the concept
Today’s Mother’s Day
“No joke? I had no idea.
So what’s for breakfast?”
Ignorance is bad parenting. It’s also one more hour of uninterrupted writing time.
“It’s my teacher’s fault.”
What are we talking about?
“Nothing. Never mind.”
