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Don’t check. Just move it.

Dude. Please do not leave

Your underwear on the couch

“What? It’s clean. (I think)”

Yes, the Olympics are still on

“It’s not over yet?

This has gone on longer than

One of your lectures.”

That’s what I call mindless eating

“It’s Valentine’s Day?”

The three bags of candy hearts…?

“Never crossed my mind.”

Talking smack is not an Olympic event

Last time I checked, Dude

They don’t give out gold medals

For running one’s mouth

And you can be a ski jumper and take a flying leap

“Want a gold medal?

Then you should try curling, Mom.

You’re great with a broom.”

NOW you want to watch figure skating?

“That skater’s 15?

I’d ask her for her digits.

She’s quite flexible.”

Call of duty, but with sparkles

“I would watch skating

If they did it with rifles

Like biathlon.”