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Tag Archives: life

There are always pink jelly beans, he doesn’t eat those

“Mom, I want a snack

Is there any candy left?”

Dude, you’re asking me?

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I’m not the sharpest tool in the shed when I wake up in the middle of the night

It’s 1 am, dude!

“Mom, it’s eleven….Really.”

Oh…well, never mind.

Talk to the shovel. Mother Nature and I ain’t listening

“But Mom, it’s Spring Break.”

Tell it to the weatherman

Go clear the driveway

If he controlled you, I would expect something more productive and less vocal

“Dad, like, controls me!”

This is the best he can do?

“You know what I mean!”

Try all you want. I am still not buying you a car

Dude, don’t miss the bus

I mean it. Don’t miss the bus.

“Mom. I missed the bus.”

It’s always been a standing offer, and I’m still standing

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“But they’d all be about Dad.”

Goes without saying

They are always nicer at other people’s houses

I like his best friend

He’s just like another son

Only more polite