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Tag Archives: motherhood

And I’m not afraid to cut a b****

Clean your room or I’ll

Take the Swimsuit Edition

And hold it hostage

I’d sneeze in your food, but I’d just have to take care of you afterwards

“Feeling better Mom?”

Fever’s gone and I can breathe.

“Great. What’s for dinner?”

And no operating “heavy machinery” so give me the keys

You gave me your cold

“So, is that why your bathroom

Looks like a meth lab?”

I wouldn’t have to nag you to do your homework

Class registration

It’s a shame they don’t offer

AP Power Nap

Don’t check. Just move it.

Dude. Please do not leave

Your underwear on the couch

“What? It’s clean. (I think)”

Yes, the Olympics are still on

“It’s not over yet?

This has gone on longer than

One of your lectures.”

That’s what I call mindless eating

“It’s Valentine’s Day?”

The three bags of candy hearts…?

“Never crossed my mind.”