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Tag Archives: personal

And you can be a ski jumper and take a flying leap

“Want a gold medal?

Then you should try curling, Mom.

You’re great with a broom.”

In Michigan, we called this “Wednesday”

Have a heart, people

It’s only frozen water

Open the damn school

Try it, you might like it

Did you think this through?

“Good sense is overrated.”

How would you know that?

Next time, bring me so fries, will you?

You went out for lunch.

“Yeah, but how did you know that?”

Car reeks of Five Guys

It’s not actual Medieval history, you know that, right?

You’re playing Minecraft?

“It’s educational, Mom.”

If you’re a hobbit.

And I’m the baddest mother you know

Take out the garbage.

“Every day is mother’s day.”

So don’t mess with me.

You could just ask for the car and leave my unfinished manuscript out of it

“How’s the writing Mom?

Have you finished the book yet?”

Just take the keys, Dude.