RSS Feed

Tag Archives: school

Good luck with that. I’ll still send you with an alarm clock.

“When I’m at college

I won’t have classes ’til noon.”

U of Denial

I won’t even bother telling you not to wear basketball shorts

It’s freezing outside

And you’re not wearing a coat?

“My hoodie’s got sleeves.”

You’re right. I’ll take it while I’ve got it.

“I have straight A’s , Mom.”

The quarter started today

“Don’t be a buzz kill.”

What do you mean, BOTH?

Report cards today?

“You might want a glass of wine.”

Before or after?

I’ll give Jeff Bezos a call, and he’ll deliver just like Domino’s

“Mom! We’re out of ink!”

Dude, it’s 10:30. Store’s closed.

“We’re Amazon Prime.”

Then Wake up, Bro, before you miss your bus.

That’s the last straw, Dude.

I’m changing your snooze button

Into a taser.

Doesn’t everyone dance to 80’s music in their underwear when their kids aren’t home?


“It’s Columbus Day. Surprise?”

Not as much as you.