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Tag Archives: sports

Call of duty, but with sparkles

“I would watch skating

If they did it with rifles

Like biathlon.”

When, not if?

“We massacred them.”

Isn’t that unsportsmanlike?

“Only when we gloat.”

Don’t even try telling me those tiny suits are aerodynamic

“It’s the girls swim team.”

On lounge chairs in bikinis?

“Doing their cool-down.”


It’s 10:00, we’re in a hotel room, and Dad and I want to sleep

You’re doing push-ups?

“How’d you think I got these guns?”

I don’t know, Dude. Nerf?


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3 day baseball tourney and my weekend is toast

“Pretend it’s Tampa”

So I’ll wear my bikini?

“Pretend it’s Juneau”

Get some pledges, it’s a walk-a-thon

This game is endless

At least it isn’t raining

Damn, I spoke too soon

Click, clack my #$$. Defending my house

No cleats inside, dude
If you want to test them out
Go aerate the lawn