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Tag Archives: teens

You sneezed in my face, Dude

Crap — I’ve caught your cold

You’re a Petrie dish with legs

But it feels remorse

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Then use it to turn some pages

You’re too sick for school?

You’re too sick for Need for Speed

“But my thumbs are fine.”

And I could be Joan Crawford

“Count your blessings, Mom.

I could be Shia LaBeouf”

And you’d be grounded

At least we agree on something

Remember the days

When you did what I asked you?

Yeah, neither do I

Pull the pin from the grenade, and toss it to your father

“You can wear a hat.

You don’t care what you look like.

You’re married. Right, Dad?”

Eschewing outerwear in the interest of preserving his genetic heritage. If it doesn’t freeze and fall off first.

“If you wear a coat,

You’re a wimp. Therefore, no game.

Evolution rules.”

Wahoolies, see you at 3:00, son

The Dude’s back in school

Time to dance in my jammies

And play “Need for Speed”