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Tag Archives: writing

That’s what you get when you trust a machine to do a mother’s job

Your bedroom’s so bad

Even the Roomba gave up

“It lacks conviction.”

I’m so glad I came back. The emotional response is overwhelming.

Your Mom is home, Dude

Why don’t you give her a hug?

“You can’t force it, man.”

Some memories I’ll keep to myself

On college tours

I get all of the flashbacks

But none of the drugs

It’s a Prius, not a sauna. Wear a coat.

You borrowed the car

“How did you figure that out?”

Heat’s set at 80

That’s how you put things in perspective

Your food card balance

Looks more like a grocery bill

“For stuff you don’t cook.”

Yes, the Olympics are still on

“It’s not over yet?

This has gone on longer than

One of your lectures.”

That’s what I call mindless eating

“It’s Valentine’s Day?”

The three bags of candy hearts…?

“Never crossed my mind.”