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Tag Archives: writing

Talking smack is not an Olympic event

Last time I checked, Dude

They don’t give out gold medals

For running one’s mouth

And you can be a ski jumper and take a flying leap

“Want a gold medal?

Then you should try curling, Mom.

You’re great with a broom.”

NOW you want to watch figure skating?

“That skater’s 15?

I’d ask her for her digits.

She’s quite flexible.”

Call of duty, but with sparkles

“I would watch skating

If they did it with rifles

Like biathlon.”

Having wine and popcorn for dinner, and watching chick flicks all night long

Dad and Dude ski trip

“Having fun without you, Mom.”

Right back at you, son.

Apparently I pissed off Mother Nature yesterday

I take it all back

I’ll shoot the ground hog instead

Are you happy now?

At least it was only a two-hour delay this time

Dear Mother Nature,

From one mom to another

Go **** yourself. Twice.